Come what may I won't fade away.

I really hate college. I think it'll get better once I get out of this stupid city. The only reason that I wanted to come back to school is because Jesse went back to LeJuene and my mother and I fought with each other terribly the entire time I was home. Jesse and I argued too...we never argue. It was terrible. We're both scared and stressed....his deployment got moved forward a month and his pre-deployment leave got taken away from him, so he's not gonna get to see his family before he leaves unless they come down to say goodbye before he gets on the bus. The only way I'm gonna see him at all is if we spend all our money on plane tickets. It's fine with me...I just want to see him while I can. There was so much that we planned to do over his pre-deployment leave. I just hope we get the chance to still do it.

Tomorrow I'm starting my diet. I just got a tattoo on my ribs and I want it to look it's best, which means I want to be able to see my ribs a little. I wasn't worrying about dieting before i got the tattoo, because I was hoping that having little fat on my ribs would mean it wouldn't be as painful. Needless to say, I was wrong and it probably wouldn't have made any difference. Nevertheless, my gym regime is going to get a lot more strict and my diet is going to be a real diet...very little carbs and lots of protein and small portions. I'd really like to buy a juicer but I can't afford it right now. Plus I have to start looking into cars and apartments for next fall. This is all happening so fast....

Planning this wedding is really difficult because I have no idea how long Jesse is going to be gone. So it's hard to pick a date and find a location. I've started looking at dresses though, and I've found a lovely one. I can't WAIT to go try on dresses with my friends.

All I want to do is lay in bed and listen to music.