when you try your best but you don't succeed

I'm constantly annoyed and frustrated because I'm so stressed and worried about Jesse. I'm hungry because I'm doing weight watchers and I was stupid today and ate a salad that the dressing alone was worth 5 of my 24 daily point allowance. I'm tired but I can't sleep without nightmares. I want to move away but I don't want to be all alone. I'm so lonely but when I get around people I want to be alone.

It's only been a month since Jesse left. I'm moving to North Carolina in another month or so. How can it feel like time is crawling and yet flying by all at once?