For you I'd wait till kingdom come.

So, lately every day has high points and low points, which leaves me not able to decide if it's a good day or a bad day. No letters from Jesse since the ones I got on Friday. It's really hard to tell myself that he's busy, and that just because he's not writing me every day doesn't mean that he doesn't love me. His mom has been getting letters pretty steadily, which kind of hurts, considering the fact that there was like, a month long period when he and his mom weren't getting along that I was his only support, and I was there for him constantly when all his family did was hurt him. I know it's his mom, and I shouldn't get jealous, but it's hard not to when I pour my heart and soul out into a letter every single day, and wake up to go wait by the mail box and pray for a letter every single day to no avail. Plus, his mom has other people in her life that she cares about that she can talk to if she has a problem. Jesse's who I talk to, and he's gone, and I'm trying to talk to him anyway, but it's very discouraging when there's no reply. I have a few people I can still talk to, but it's different with friends. This sucks. I miss Jesse so bad, and it's not even a full month yet. Deployments are going to be terrible.

America's Next Top Model is casting in Pittsburgh on Thursday. I'm thinking about going, but I don't think my body is good enough to model. I keep telling myself I'm not going because I have school in the fall, but really I'm just trying to justify it for myself because I know I'll get rejected.

Filming Abduction yesterday was kind of stupid. I don't understand why someone would want to do a movie. Doing the same thing a million times over and over again seems sort of stupid to me. It doesn't seem real. And the girls that were like flipping out because we were near Taylor Lautner were so annoying. So what if he's famous and mildly attractive? Who cares? He's just a person.

I want to do something fun this week. I want to go somewhere new, but I don't want to have to drive. Someone else can drive or we can ride bikes or walk. But I want to go on an adventure.