You wouldn't even recognize me anymore

I want to go to homecoming so bad. I love my dress. My hair would look so cool. And I would go buy the best shoes. But nobody wants to go with me. I just wish I knew what was so wrong with me....so I could like fix it or something. But since I don't know what it is, I can't fix it. So I guess I'm going alone. Or not going. Which sucks. Because I want to go so bad. So so so so bad. Bad enough that I bought my homecoming dress in December. But I'm not the exception, I'm the rule. And while the exception is that someone that wants to go to the school dance with me would ask me, the rule states that I won't get to go. 

fuck.

Going alone is going to be really embarrassing. The fact that I want to go so bad is embarrassing. 

Jimmy has cancer. It's a tumor in his aortic valve. It's inoperable. He has less than 9 months left to live. He doesn't even think he's gonna make it that long. 

I'm really sick of my mom talking about college. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I can't hear about letters of recommendation and GPA, and all the other shit she talks about. 

I've been listening to a lot of Linkin Park lately. Hybrid Theory. I've had this CD for soooo long. 

I like pretending that Green Eyes was written for me. I've been listening to it a lot recently too. By recently I mean ever since Jimmy told me he has a tumor. Shit...

Edit: I'm going to homecoming with Jimmy. I hope he's well enough to go. He's pretty sick from all the medication. He's trying really hard to fight it...even though the doctors basically told him not to bother. I didn't think I cared about him this much. I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that everything in the universe upsets me....especailly things like this